TITLE: "Four-Eyed, No-Horned, Staking, Super, Ripper Giles"
AUTHOR: ASH Watcher/Slayer Watcher
RATING: G for silliness.
PAIRING: None, this is a Genfic. :)
SPOILERS: Um...none, this is pretty off-the-wall and AU. Um, vampires are
mentioned, though.
DISCLAIMER: I own the fic...but not Giles or The PPE.
DISTRIBUTION: GilesRulesBaby
FEEDBACK: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease????????? :D
SUMMARY: Giles meets an alien...and reads COSMO??
DEDICATIONS: Gileswench for the challenge annnd Musey for the encouraging
laughter. *hugs* OH and my younger brother, Stephen. He's always GREAT at coming
up with titles for fics I write.:)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my response to Gileswench's Monday Mini-Challenge #15. Giles meets an alien, what's his reaction?? :D
********************
Rupert Giles was seated on his couch, with a cup of tea in one hand and the
latest edition of COSMO magazine in the other. The magazine was a secret vice
of his, but that's an entirely different story, now isn't it? He was engrossed
in an article entitled, "101 Uses For Animal Cookies In Bed." (This *IS*
fiction, so anything can happen...even if it's not realistic.) As Giles reached
the fifteenth use on the list, "Animal Cookies can be used as Pasties", he heard
a peculiar noise outside. Wondering if perhaps someone or something was in
distress, he decided to go investigate.
Placing the tea and magazine on the coffee table, Giles stood up and grabbed
the nearest thing that could be used as a weapon. Just in case, of course. He
walked over and unlocked the door, then opened it and ventured outside. Not
seeing anything amiss at first glance, he took a chance, and left the safety of
his front porch. A few steps into the yard, he heard the noise again. Louder
this time, and it made him jump. Mentally chastising himself, he continued on
his quest in the search for the source of the noise.
Wandering towards the sidewalk, Giles spotted something curious. It was big
and purple and furry looking. It had a horn on the top of its' head, from what
Giles could see. The thing, having heard Giles make a noise, though Giles
wasn't aware he'd made a noise, turned its' gaze onto Giles. He gasped as
recognition of what, or more precisely, *who* the creature was, hit him. Good
grief! Surely the creature didn't actually exist?! Of course, vampires and the like,
weren't supposed to actually exist either.
Sucking in a reassuring breath, Giles strolled over to the creature and stood
next to it. It was standing next to Mr. List's mailbox and appeared to be
studying the mailbox. Spotting Giles, the creature smiled and gestured to the
strange object it had discovered. It made a few strange noises, but Giles was
uncertain as to what the creature wanted. Making a few more noises and pointing
at the mailbox this time, Giles surmised the creature wanted to know *what*
the mailbox was.
"It's a mailbox," Giles patiently explained. The creature nodded, in apparent
comprehension.
Then Giles couldn't contain his excitement anymore and asked the creature a
question.
"I say...are you really the One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying, Purple, Eater?!?"
Giles inquired.
The creature nodded again and Giles laughed in amusement. He smiled at the
PPE (Purple People Eater) and then began asking it more questions.
"Is the horn on your head, really like a saxophone? Can I see you play?
Where's your rock-and-roll band? I play guitar, would you like to hear me play?"
The PPE was curious about the creature standing in front of him. But finally
patted Giles on the head and slowly spoke, "Yew kann kum sea mi(me) play
twonite." Giles grinned from ear to ear and took the PPE's hand and followed it
to the spaceship parked nearby, in Weatherly Park. Giles climbed aboard after
the PPE and the two flew off for parts unknown.
A few seconds later, Buffy, who was in the bathtub, swore she heard a
familiar tune playing. But couldn't remember what the tune was called or where
she'd heard it before. Shrugging, she chalked it up to imagining things and living
on a Hellmouth. Then resumed soaking in the warm bath water and bubbles.
THE END(???)
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