TITLE: "Buffy Is Bored"
AUTHOR: ASH Watcher/Slayer Watcher
EMAIL: GGtheSlayer@aol.com(No stakes, *please*!)
PAIRING: B/G, W/T, X/A
RATING: Um, PG for wackiness
SUMMARY: Buffy's bored...and don't ask about anything else.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine..I don't even own Daffy Duck!
DISTRIBUTION: Um....if you're crazy enough to want this, then ok.
BEVERAGE WARNING! BEVERAGE WARNING! BEVERAGE WARNING!
***************
Buffy slumped down on the couch next to Giles...she sighed, and
waited for him to notice her. He was engrossed in a dusty tome of
some kind, so he chose to ignore Buffy's bored sigh for the time
being.
"Gi-yules...I'm *borrred*!," Buffy whined.
Giles didn't say anything, he just continued reading. She huffed,
then got up and went into the kitchen. He grinned when she'd stomped
off, pouting. A few seconds later, Buffy came back out and this time,
removed the book from Giles' hands. Then she plopped down into his
lap.
"Yes, Buffy..what is it?" he asked, amused.
"I'm *bored*! Willow's at the Mideval Festival with Tara...Xander's
in Alabama with Anya, and you and I are the only ones without
anything to do."
Just then, Buffy's Slayer hearing informed her that the mail had just
arrived. Over excited, she bounded off his lap, and flew to the
mailbox. As she began walking back inside,
carrying the mail, she heard her name called. Buffy turned around,
and her jaw dropped to the ground, when she saw Mr. Ughly walking
across the street. He had a *lion* on a leash, and was eating a
Little Debbie Zebra Cake. He told her that his pet lion's name was,
Swish. And that he knew of a female lion, who lived in the
neighborhood with, Ms. Red. Buffy smiled and nodded, then fled
inside, to hide from the scary Mr. Ughly & Swish.
When she closed the door behind her, Giles was still sitting on the
couch, reading his tome. Buffy rolled her eyes, then began sorting
through the mail. Oooh, a new DVD had arrived, woohoo! She hoped it
was, "Night of The Undead Cowboys"....it was the newest Brad Ford
movie. Giles and Buffy had been extremely looking forward to it,
since seeing it a few months back. She put the movie aside, and
sorted through the rest of the mail.
There was a postcard from Xander and Anya. It was postmarked:
Hartselle, Alabama.
"DEAR BUFFY AND GILES,
HI! THIS IS ANYA, SPEAKING.
XANDER IS BUSY DROOLING
OVER THE WORLD'S LARGEST TWINKIE.
AND WHENEVER I AM ABLE TO
DRAG HIM AWAY, WE ARE GOING TO
GO AND SEE THE WORLD'S LARGEST
BALL OF EARWAX.
OKAY, GOODBYE.
--ANYA"
Buffy cracked up, and then had to sit down before she wound up
falling down. She looked at her watch, and gasped when she noticed
the time. It was six o'clock...time for "Welcome Back,
Kotter!!"....she ran over and turned the TV on. What the...why
wasn't "Welcome Back, Kotter!" on yet? Just then, Daffy Duck came on
screen, and was joined by a Fork--wearing a sombrero--and they were
eating sunflower seeds. Buffy screamed and then threw a Xerox machine
at the TV. The TV died...so Buffy screamed again, and went over to
the stereo.
Giles had been completely self-absorped in his book, up till Buffy
had thrown the Xerox Machine at the telly. He didn't want to know
*where* the machine had come from. He heard music and sighed, maybe
Buffy would calm down now. Oh look, he had mail...sitting on the
table in front of him. He giggled at Anya's postcard, then opened the
new movie that had arrived in the mail.
"What the bloody Hell...?!?" he growled.
The movie wasn't, "Night of The Undead Cowboys"! Blast, it was
something called, "Bouffay, the Vampire Layer", starring Phoebe
Bouffay and Kent Brockman. He promptly threw the DVD in the trash.
Just then, Buffy came up to him and began stripping him of his
clothes. Giles didn't ask, he just went along with her, and helped
her off with her clothes. And when, "A HARD DAY'S NIGHT", started
playing on the stereo, they rocked out. Their underwear, had Smurfs
on it, and the two of them danced like crazy.
***************
A little while later, Buffy was feeding Giles Ranch-dipped Pickles,
while they watched a marathon of The Powerpuff Girls. After about
four hours of watching The Powerpuff Girls, Buffy screamed again, and
so Giles put in "The Jetsons Meet The Flintstones". Buffy cheered,
and promptly stripped herself and Giles of their Smurfs underwear. He
pulled her onto his lap, tickling her. She giggled and squirmed and
then found herself impaled on Giles' hard shaft.(ugh, cheesy
description, sorry) They gasped and moaned and groaned, and thrust.
And shortly thereafter, cried each others names in the throes of
passion.
THE END
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